Guest post and excerpt! Don’t Drink the Holy Water by Bailey Bradford

Don’t Drink the Holy Water by Bailey Bradford



This series, The Vamp for Me, started on my blog, as some of my other series have done. I’ve been writing stories there for years, and have a great group of people that make every day special.

When one story ends, everyone votes on what the next will be. Majority rules. That’s a lot of fun, but sometimes they pick something I’m not sure about. These vamps were like that.

Decades ago, I loved vamp stories. There was a certain musically-inclined vamp I was fascinated with until something went wrong for me in the series and I stopped reading them. From time to time, I picked up another vamp book here and there, but for the most part, they were relegated to my past.

Then suddenly, the bloggees wanted a vamp story, and I had a real, ‘Oh shit!’ moment. I wasn’t sure I could pull one off. But they had faith in me, and that gave me courage when I needed it.

I dove into the first book, My Life Without Garlic (truly a tough row to hoe, in my opinion. I love garlic) and took on every vampire cliché I could remember. I didn’t snub them, but dragged them right on it and let the snark and good times roll.

And oh my gosh! It was so much fun! More fun than I’d had in a while, and I’m a pretty fun-embracing person. Suddenly, I wasn’t nervous, I was sailing on that smooth-writing, no-blocks skyway that makes it hard to stop writing for the day. Or night. Or middle of the night. You get the idea J

That’s how this series began, and I’ve added one all-new story to it, with the intentions to add at least two more. We’re on book four, Don’t Drink the Holy Water, and it was as much fun to write as all the prior stories have been.

I hope y’all will come along for that wild ride. And stop by the blog, if you get the chance. There’s a new story starting up there, voted on by the fabulous people who’ve encouraged me in so many writing adventures.

Meanwhile, y’all take care, and have a wonderful day!


Excerpt from Don’t Drink the Holy Water:

Copyright 2015

Bailey Bradford

“Aw, come on, Axel! You got a head start! Let’s go again!”

Roger ‘Axel’ Majors rolled his eyes at his ex-boyfriend Jukie. It’d been that kind of competitiveness, along with the whining, that had put an end to their romantic relationship. Luckily, their friendship had survived, though with the way Jukie was pouting, it might not make it for much longer.

Jukie tossed back his glossy brown hair, pushing it out of his sweaty face. He swiped at his brow and continued arguing. “You didn’t really win, you know. You got an early start—”

“No, I didn’t,” Axel snapped, his patience worn thin. Sandboarding in the desert heat was enough to make anyone cranky especially if it entailed listening to hours of complaining too. “Yolanda was clocking us, and she’ll tell you the same thing.”

“Yup,” Yolanda agreed. “Jukie’s a sore loser, nothing new there.”

“Fuck you,” Jukie muttered, flipping Yolanda off as well.
Yolanda threw the clipboard at Jukie in a movement so fast, Jukie didn’t have time to duck.
“Fuck!” he yelped as the impromptu weapon made contact with his chest. “Ow!”

“Learn some manners, asshole,” Yolanda snarked, turning away from them. “I’m done here. We’ve been practicing for hours and I’m ready for a long, cool bath and some good food and booze. See y’all at Concho’s.”

“You cheated,” Jukie muttered, kicking the clipboard.

Axel wanted to tear his hair out. “I did. Not. You’re slower, that’s it. Maybe you need a better board.” Or more patience and practice. “We’ve got three months before the next competition—”

“Fuck that. You’ll cheat there too.” Jukie narrowed his eyes at Axel. “Maybe someone should make sure the judges know what to watch for.”

A chill washed over Axel. “Jukie, what’s going on, man? You know I don’t cheat and I couldn’t in a competition anyway. I’d be DQ’d for jumping the start. You know that. Are you…” Axel hated to bring it up because it was just going to piss Jukie off more but they needed this shit worked out. “Is this about us breaking up?”

Jukie snorted. “Us breaking up? Nah, not at all.”

Axel sagged a little in relief.

Jukie whacked him with the clipboard, catching Axel on the jaw with the flat back of it.

“Hey!” Axel threw his hands up to try to avoid another blow to the face.

“This is about you dumping me, you fucking fuck!” Jukie caught him on the side twice.

Axel wasn’t a violent man. He hated blood and boxing and anything remotely involving violence.
And now he knew he really hated being on the receiving end of it. It was just too bad he didn’t know jack shit about defending himself.

“You don’t get to ditch me, asshole,” Jukie snarled.
There was an insane light to his eyes, and spittle flew as he shouted.

Axel had known Jukie had a temper, but not like this.
“Jukie, stop. Stop—” Axel grunted as the edge of the clipboard was slammed into his belly. “Fu…”

“You were lucky to be with someone as hot as me.” Jukie hit him again then backed away when Axel fell onto his butt. “You’ll never get another guy as attractive as me. You can’t beat this.” He slapped himself on the ass.

Jukie had been a lazy and selfish lover. Axel doubted now was the time to point that out.

“Have fun finding your way back.” Jukie looked at the clipboard, then at Axel, before turning on his heels and leaving.

Axel didn’t even have the breath to plead with Jukie, and even if he had, he wouldn’t have bothered. Hopefully, now that Jukie had thrown his hissy fit, he’d get over it. That was the way the idiot had always acted in the two years that Axel had known him. Tomorrow Jukie would be full of regret and sweet as sugar.

And Axel would let whatever this was go, because that would be easier than arguing. He sighed and watched Jukie ride off on his ATV. Axel was fairly certain he knew his way back. They weren’t too far off the main road. He could also follow the tire tracks Yolanda and Jukie left behind.

That was the theory, anyway, but he yelped when he tried to stand, his ribs aching like a mother. Well, he would call Yolanda. She’d had plenty of experience with Jukie and his fits, since they’d been friends before Axel had come along. Maybe she wouldn’t mind coming back to help him get up.

Axel dug his cell phone out of his pocket and cursed when he saw the shattered screen. Of course he couldn’t have just cracked it. The screen was a mess of fractures and spiderweb- like lines. He also noticed it didn’t light up when he pressed the buttons on the side.

“Oh, come on!” Axel shook the phone. Pieces of the screen went flying. “Crap!”

It took him a while, but he finally got to his feet. “I gotta have better taste in men,” he mumbled as he slowly made his way to his ATV.

Buy Link:

Twitter: @BaileyBFun4Me





About Bailey Bradford:

I never know what to write in these bios. I’ve been happily married for over twenty years to my soul mate, have three daughters and four grandkids, lots of cats, dogs, and tarantulas—those are all outside. I hope. I spend my days writing, reading, and doing things with family, including homeschooling my youngest daughter. I love road trips and hiking, and days at the beach, and laughing with those I love.








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